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Friday, March 20th, 2009

Subject:so true.
Time:9:18 am.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, December 27th, 2008

Subject:An Ode to Best Buy
Time:12:07 pm.
Mood: aggravated.
As I sit here, in my comfy desk chair
i feel compelled to rip out my hair
in anger at the policies of corporate giants

planning ahead for setting up my new place
a giant new tv I had hoped to embrace
it turned out to be very difficult

currently living in minnesota
but soon to be residing in oklahoma
showing up to pickup wasn't an option

"hes not on my account" i cried
"we make no exceptions" they replied
"only the card holder can retrieve the order"

tried multiple stores, telling my story
why dont they deliver farther west on I40?
i just want to spend money with you!

in this day and age, with cross-country relationships and families becoming more and more common, you'd think that a giant conglomerate like BestBuy would want to make it's loyal customers happy. If I want to allow my boyfriend to pick up my order, I should be able to do so. I understand the policy is in place to prevent random people from walking in and picking up other peoples orders, but they should allow for others to do so on their behalf. i can get you his Drivers License number, social, birthdate, a description, full legal name... i can email him the order confirmation. i can fax him a copy of my card.

so our forced solution is that i need to wire him the money and he'll have to place the order on his card. Either that or i'll have to add him to my account (which would be hard to do with him 800 miles away and not able to sign paperwork). not that i'm not comfortable with those choices, cause i am... its just a lot of unnecessary work and expenses.

What do families of deployed soldiers do? What if I was handicapped and couldn't make it in to the store? I mean, it's not like I'll be picking up a 52" tv myself, it probably weighs more than I do.

BestBuy, I'm highly disappointed.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

Subject:Writer's Block: Misdirected Mail
Time:5:52 am.
Have you ever replied to or cc'ed someone on an email that was definitely not intended for their eyes? Or received one that was about you but wasn't meant for you to read? What was the email about and how did you react?

Lol. I answer emails at work. When people need IT help, they email MITHELP. They often cc/send to others who need to know about the problem, who they intend to have work on it, or anyone else who is affected. I can't begin to tell you how often one of those people hits "reply to all". Normally not a big deal, but EVERY email to MITHELP creates a ticket in our ticketing system so any reply to/reply to all's create another ticket. And then they reply to all about the reply... it gets out of control.
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Saturday, October 25th, 2008

Subject:My Great Weekend!
Time:6:20 pm.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

Subject:just wanna quickly say
Time:12:56 pm.
that i love you julia.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

Subject:Just remember always how lucky you are to be here, to conquer yet another year (xposted to myspace)
Time:5:21 pm.
"Another Year" by Libby Richman

Yesterday is behind closed doors
Sometimes I wish it could be restored;
Today is rushing past
Moments that will not last,
Tomorrow you will wonder where time went
As the hours are spent.

Hold on to your expectations
Plunge ahead without reservation,
When doubts cause you to shed a tear
Just think how lucky you are to be here
To conquer yet another year.

Out of the past we came
Taking with us moments that can't be rekindled again;
Minutes that were sometimes nasty
Others that were nice,
Love affairs that were fire
And relationships that turned to ice.

When you expect too much of today
When you long for a moment from yesterday
When things don't seem completely clear
Just think how lucky you are to be here
To conquer yet another year.

Like the shadow of water caressing the sands
Like the gentle touch of a friends hand
Like the sun that kisses the mountain top
Days move ahead, taking the hours away,
And the minutes can't be held by any clock.

Take your dreams into tomorrow
From what you've learned you can borrow;
Cherish what is sublime
The hours that are yours and mine,
And think how lucky we are to be here
To conquer yet another year.

Like a love that does not possess
But fills with joy each empty recess
We are given seconds not to use in vain
To follow the sunset till the sun rises again;
So while the path is not always clear
Just remember always how lucky you are to be here
To conquer yet another year.

So. I'm sure most of you readers know 8/9/08 marked four years since my near death experience; my heart attack. It is very typical for me to do a blog recapping my year. I'd definitely call this one the best so far. In early August 07 I started working at Medtronic, which has been exhilerating. In October my divorce was finalized. I shared a very good Thanksgiving with my sister. We had a relatively mild winter here.

In the spring, the boys moved here from Michigan. And while that's been rough, I think we've reached smooth water there. March 23rd I started dating Austin. I'll tell you what, no one has made me happier or more miserable in my whole life. But as he says, everyone will hurt you, it's up to you to decide who is worth it. He definitely is.

Possibly the newest development in my life is that I feel like I really am changing. They say people never change, and I know deep down that is true. So I shouldn't say "changing" so much as it is maturing. Only that makes me sound old. Nonetheless, it's what I've been doing.

One gigantic change that I think has most benefitted me is the isolation. I have eliminated some very negative influences from my life. I know that the people I choose to associate with now are people who genuinely care about me. They don't use me to feel better about themselves. They don't take and take and take and never give. They don't prey on my weaknesses and take advantage every chance they get. This newfound individuality has allowed me to focus on saving me instead of saving others. Not that others aren't important, because we all know I put everyone else in the world before myself, but there comes a time in everyone's life when enough is frankly enough.

I've taken to intellectually and emotionally improving myself. I spend an hour every day reading poetry or ancient literature. I read a few different financial-based blogs. i read the news a lot. i take time to meditate [corny, yes, but seems to really be helping with my BPD]. i'm really trying not to be so wound up and anxious all the time.

and i just want to say thank you. thank you to everyone i care about for being patient, for forgiving my past mistakes, for encouraging me to be a better person.

and i love you.
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Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

Subject:had to laugh.
Time:1:05 pm.
Caller says "it's taken over an hour for outlook to scan my .pst in safe mode!"

so i remote in and have a look-see.


... yeah. that's about all i can say.
Comments: Read 12 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, July 10th, 2008

Subject:my icon
Time:3:37 pm.
Mood: creative.
Here's the lyrics for the song i made my icon from.
its kinda motivating me right now.


they tell you a good girl is quiet
that you should never ask why
cause it only makes it harder to fit in
that you should be happy, excited
even if youre just invited
cause the winners need someone to clap for them
its so hard just waitin in a line that never moves
its time you started making your own rules

you gotta scream until theres nothing left
with your last breath, say here i am
make em listen
cause theres no way youll be ignored, not anymore
say here i am, here i am, here i am

you only get one life to work it
so who cares if its not perfect
say its close enought to perfect for me
why would you hide from the thunder 
and the lightning that you're under
cause there ain't nobody else you want to be
if how youre living isnt working 
theres one thing that will help 
you gotta finally just stop searching to find yourself

you gotta scream until theres nothing left
with your last breath, say here i am
make em listen
cause theres no way youll be ignored, not anymore
say here i am, here i am, here i am

the world better make some room
yeah move over, over
because youre comin through
cause youre comin through 

you gotta scream until theres nothing left
with your last breath, say here i am
make em listen
cause theres no way youll be ignored, not anymore
say here i am, here i am, here i am

Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, June 6th, 2008

Subject:another completely ridiculously aggrivating day
Time:12:31 pm.

So here I am at work. 

And I want to rip my hair out.

I don't know if I am speaking some sort of omgforeignlanguage but EVERY call today has been like pulling teeth. 

Me: Can I have you look at the Stateful Firewall option and see if it's checked?
Client: So you want me to click on it?
Me: No, I'd like you to just look at it and see if it's checked or not. 
Client: Well it's not checked, but if I click on it, it will check.
Me: Please don't. Please.

Me: Ok, I'll need you to reboot your computer for this change to take effect.
Client2: But it's still not working!
Me: That's because you need to restart
Client2: But I did a logoff, and it's still not working
Me: I need it to be a restart or a shut down. A logoff will not do what we need it to do.
Client2: Well why didn't you SAY that?
Me: ...

Client3: I need to have an internet connection to connect to the VPN?
Me: yep
Client3: I've never needed one before...
Me: You just got approved for remote access and got your securID card last week....
Client3: And I've always been able to use my laptop!
Me: Away from the office?
Client3: Well no, this is the first time I'm trying. 

I keep reminding myself I'm great at my job. I love my job. It'll be ok.

Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

Subject:new love of my life
Time:7:35 pm.
nope, still single. horribly terribly single.

but i love Secondhand Serenade.

seriously. download them or buy them or something, its amazingness.
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Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

Subject:here i go again
Time:12:43 pm.

you know how they say "you live, you learn?"

i don't know if i'll ever get that learning part down.

Comments: Read 4 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, November 21st, 2007

Subject:well. disappointment follows me apparantly
Time:11:41 am.
I took some AMAZING pictures as I drove in to work today...

and forgot my USB cable so I can't upload them.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

Subject:Thanks turnsol!
Time:7:00 pm.
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In March I gave xxwynxx a kidney (1000 points). In April I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). Last Saturday I broke wyn209's X-Box (-12 points). Last month I punched meshteyfer in the arm (-10 points). In February I committed genocide... Sorry about that, rysah57 (-5000 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-4098 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!


Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
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Friday, November 16th, 2007

Subject:A Couple of blogs from my blogger
Time:11:43 am.
I've recently written a couple very worthwhile posts in my blogspot blog and figured I'd share them with you.

Making Changes and Setting GoalsCollapse )

Acceptance and YouCollapse )
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Friday, July 20th, 2007

Time:9:05 am.
She had an unusual smile on her face as she strolled through the web of skyways that is downtown Minneapolis. Her thoughts were racing. He really did care, it wasn't just a facade. He had seen the crazy side of her, and it didn't phase him. He was real. She didn't have to struggle to keep his interest. She didn't need to know his every thought and action. It wasn't a constant show, her actions were genuine. She was finally at peace in her mind, and waves of relief swept over her. Perhaps now she could stop worrying about sleeping alone. Perhaps now she could begin to feel real emotions.

People passing by her as she walked stopped to stare. She was literally beaming. She noticed them, but paid them no attention. She had none to spare, her every thought was filled with him. She had a bounce in her step that one only has when they are truly blissful.
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Thursday, December 14th, 2006

Time:1:50 pm.
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Thursday, November 16th, 2006

Subject:pics... tell me if you like
Time:4:19 pm.

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Sunday, October 22nd, 2006

Subject:New pics!
Time:1:45 pm.
I cross posted these to my myspace but since some of you don't read that...

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Friday, January 13th, 2006

Time:8:03 am.
My grandma passed away this morning.

I am completely devastated.

And yet, I'm trying to work through the day.

That's the spirit, huh.

Every second I can think of about a million things that I've done with her over the last 23 years.

When I was little I used to crawl in her bed at like 4 am and every 5 minutes I'd poke her and whisper "grandma, its 4:12." "grandma it's 4:19" etc. until she'd get up with me and make me breakfast.

there was always something about certain things with her. her toast was always better than anybody else's. her chicken & dumplings were to die for. she made this salad that to this day my dad has not been quite able to perfect. she made me almost every halloween costume i ever had.

when i was growing up i'd spend weeks in the summer at her house. Those were some of the best days of my life.

i miss her already.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, November 24th, 2005

Subject:Giving Thanks for what we have
Time:9:06 am.
In honor of this most joyous day, I am making a (gasp!) public entry. As everyone in the whole world knows, it has been a really, interesting year in my life. Started out the year with Kristen getting yet another year older. Times at work were difficult as I was not yet officially Full-Time yet from my heart attack. My health has been improving, with the occasional set backs. April came and went, I turned 23. At some point in the early summer, I came to the realization that my marriage wasn't really what marriage is supposed to be. We were hardly ever speaking, and when we were it was more like arguing and nit-picking. Needless to say there was nothing going on in the sex department either. I'm not going to say I regret any actions I have taken between then and now, but some of them were stupid. I immediately started searching for ways to satisfy the hole in me. I had several people I had met through various avenues, and I started slipping back into my complusive decision making mode. The low point was when I was lusting for Ross. I had already put in notice to work that I was leaving, moving there. He had already purchased a plane ticket to come get me. Due to some also stupid mistakes on my end he decided he could not be the reason I left Matt. He felt that God wanted me to work it out with Matt. Well guess what, I have no unresolved issues with Matt. So. That was done and over with. And I attempted suicide over it. After a hospital visit, I kind of took it easy for a bit, focused on enrolling in online classes for a health and fitness science degree. I got my life figured out. Then, I took a vacation. I went to Alabama to meet some more people I met on FFXI. And from that trip I figured shit out. I met the coolest people ever. And fell in love. Anyways. That brings us to where we are now. I found an apartment I like in Brooklyn Park. I FINALLY got promoted to IT Help Desk Specialist in TCF downtown tower. I work out daily. I eat much much better. Things couldn't really get much better. so ... without further ado, the list

Things I am thankful for
1. MY HEALTH. I am healthy
2. Kristen. even though she caused my heart attack. she is my one true joy at this moment.
3. Things with matt and i being tolerable. it isn't quite to a friendship yet, but he is supportive of #4.
4. Khalid. I thank god every day for this man. i haven't felt like this about anyone. ever. even when matt and i were first together. hell, i didn't even feel this way about Jason, the first guy i loved. this is serious.
5. good friends. obviously khalid, but also john, shane, justin, alex, wyn, haru, ced, amber, travis, josh, danielle, erin, jennifer, annie, everyone in TeaStation...
6. new job! !!!!
7. safe place to live.
8. financial stability
9. my family. the best through all this. hell even my in-laws are still great.
10. things just being stable. it's great.
*11. nwa world perks :) made this all possible.

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